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Jerry Seinfeld
Birthday:
29 April 1954
Birth Name:
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Height:
180 cm
Biography
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
The first birthday party you have and the last birthday party you have are actually quite similar. You just kind of sit there. You're the least excited person at the party. You didn't even really realize that there is a party. Both birthday parties' people have to help you blow out the candles. It's also the only two birthday parties where other people have ...
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The first birthday party you have and the last birthday party you have are actually quite similar. You just kind of sit there. You're the least excited person at the party. You didn't even really realize that there is a party. Both birthday parties' people have to help you blow out the candles. It's also the only two birthday parties where other people have to gather your friends together for you.
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What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll wind up naked.
What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll wind up naked.
They show you how to use the seatbelt, in case you haven't been in a car since 1965. 'Oh, you lift up on the buckle! Oh! I was trying to break the metal apart. I thought that's how it works.'
They show you how to use the seatbelt, in case you haven't been in a car since 1965. 'Oh, you lift up on the buckle! Oh! I was trying to break the metal apart. I thought that's how it works.'
I don't play colleges, but I hear a lot of people tell me, "Don't go near colleges. They're so PC.". I'll give you an example: My daughter's 14. My wife says to her, "Well, you know, in the next couple of years, I think maybe you're going to want to be hanging around the city more on the weekends, so you can see boys.". You know what my daughter says? She sa...
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I don't play colleges, but I hear a lot of people tell me, "Don't go near colleges. They're so PC.". I'll give you an example: My daughter's 14. My wife says to her, "Well, you know, in the next couple of years, I think maybe you're going to want to be hanging around the city more on the weekends, so you can see boys.". You know what my daughter says? She says, "That's sexist.". "That's prejudice." They don't know what the fuck they're talking about.
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Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
If life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
If life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
I wanted to do an episode of my TV series which we never did where sitcom problems would crop up and then be very quickly resolved.
I wanted to do an episode of my TV series which we never did where sitcom problems would crop up and then be very quickly resolved.
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains - a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains - a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped.
I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped.
I don't like "great" restaurants. I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu. I don't want any auditioning foods. When they make the real show, then I will eat them.
I don't like "great" restaurants. I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu. I don't want any auditioning foods. When they make the real show, then I will eat them.
When you've been in the business 5-years, as a person, it's like you're 5-years old - like a child. 10-years and you're 10-years old, 20... Etcetera. That's how I measure maturity in this industry.
When you've been in the business 5-years, as a person, it's like you're 5-years old - like a child. 10-years and you're 10-years old, 20... Etcetera. That's how I measure maturity in this industry.
You can be passionate about anything. Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
You can be passionate about anything. Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
[on whether family life produces better comedy than bachelorhood ]The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.
[on whether family life produces better comedy than bachelorhood ]The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.
[about pregnancy and babies] It's like getting ready for your own birth. Nothing prepares you . . . When those eyes meet your eyes -- I was feeling things I never had feelings like before. I never loved anyone so much at first meeting. I love her so much! But! - Let's make no mistake why these babies come here: to replace us. Their first words are "Mama", "D...
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[about pregnancy and babies] It's like getting ready for your own birth. Nothing prepares you . . . When those eyes meet your eyes -- I was feeling things I never had feelings like before. I never loved anyone so much at first meeting. I love her so much! But! - Let's make no mistake why these babies come here: to replace us. Their first words are "Mama", "Dada" and "Bye-bye". We'll see who's wearing the diapers when this is all over.
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A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld was born in Brooklyn, New York, the son of Betty (Hesney) and Kalman Seinfeld. His father was of Hungarian Jewish descent, while Jerry's maternal grandparents, Salha and Selim Hosni, were Syrian Jewish immigrants (from Aleppo). He moved with his family, including sister Carolyn, to suburban Massepequa, Long Island, at a young age. Jerry's dad, who had a terrific sense of humor, was a commercial sign maker.Jerry attended Oswego College in upstate New York but transferred to Queens College back in New York City. Developed interest in stand-up comedy after brief stints in college productions. Went straight from college graduation to amateur night tryout at New York's Catch a Rising Star, 1976.Continued to perform in local clubs and Catskill Mountain resorts until his career was boosted by an appearance on a Rodney Dangerfield HBO special, 1976. Career took off after first successful spot on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962), May 1981, at age 27. Appearances on Late Night with David Letterman (1982) and The Merv Griffin Show (1962) followed. Also appeared four times as Frankie on Benson (1979) sitcom. After he was abruptly fired from the show, he swore never to do another sitcom unless he had greater control. This opportunity emerged when he was invited to create a sitcom for NBC in 1989 and teamed with one-time stand-up colleague Larry David.Progression of "The Seinfeld Chronicles" into the long-running Seinfeld (1989) series phenomenon was ended by its co-creator and co-executive producer, Larry David. Still unmarried, he moved back to New York City into a new multimillion-dollar, multilevel apartment on Central Park West just down the street from his small bachelor studio on West 81st.
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