To do a job as a gaffer, you have to view yourself in a terminal position - you have risen as far as you can go. If you decide to become a director of photography, you have to do it. You can't remain a gaffer because you can't gaff successfully if you're walking around thinking, "I could have done this better." You have to approach the job with the proper mind-set or you're dead. Once you lose sight of your loyalty, then you're not doing a good job anymore.