[on making his children understand who's in charge] That's my wife, then the nanny, then the dog, the neighbour across the street who's got a glass eye, and the dude I'm guessing is our gardener.

I was a bad kid for a while. I'd break curfew, smoke bud, drink booze, all the usual stuff. My parents sent me to an all-boys boarding school when I was 12 -- a school designed to even out uneven boys -- and I was constantly caught smoking. You had to chop wood if you got caught smoking, so I was always chopping wood. It was a very outdoorsy school. You got graded on white-water canoeing, or they'd send you out into the woods with a pack of matches and you had to build a quinzhee and survive out there for a few days. I liked that aspect of it. When I was 16 they asked me not to return. I technically wasn't kicked out, but I guess they caught me smoking and drinking one too many times. I still look back at it fondly as the place I learned to smoke. I can kill butts with the best of them.

This pilot [Arrested Development (2003)] by far was the best I ever read -- and I hope that insults every other pilot I worked on.