[UKIP's] official business passes you by, but Nigel Farage, this statement that he made where he said: "I was on a train a little while ago and I heard a number of people in my carriage all speaking in foreign languages and I have to say that did make me feel rather uncomfortable." And I thought "Well that's mental illness, that is, isn't it? If foreign languages make you uncomfortable, that's nuts, you don't want votes, you need a shrink! That's like being someone who's scared of buttons or something! Isn't it?"

When Bono says "Just two thousand pounds is all that's needed to feed this village," you can't help think "Well give it to them then. You've probably got that down the back of your settee next to some lost sunglasses."