[on a particularly low moment in his stand-up comic career] I never really gave up on Surrey, it gave up on me - before I got there.

(2012, on Down Periscope) I got that role right before I was hired on MADtv. They established me in the background very early on. I was over at Fox shooting this movie. I was just sitting in the background. I only had one line, which I think was partially said off-screen. And I finally went to the director and was like, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to lose this other job if you have me here for another month." And he goes, "We'll take you out in the next scene." If you watch the movie, they win the war game and everyone is clapping, and I just get up and walk down the passage. What, do I leave the sub? I don't know, but I just vanished from the movie.

(2012, on Zig Zag) I had become friends with David Goyer and he had written all these movies-man, that guy came up through the fucking ranks. You should talk to him sometime. He has the funniest "meeting Steven Segal" story I've ever fucking heard in my life. He has come up through the trenches. When he wrote Blade and finally got some cachet, he auctioned a novel that he wanted to direct called Zig Zag. It's a movie that doesn't quite work. It doesn't come together like it should. But Oliver Platt's performance is fucking awesome. It's one of those great performances in a not-great film. He plays a character called "The Toad" and holy shit, he's so good it literally hurts the movie. Because viewers are like, "Can't we just go watch him?" It's like Martin Short's character in The Big Picture. It's still a pretty good movie, but he's on such another level it makes the rest of the movie seem like a booger.

(2012, on The King Of Queens) I lucked out getting that role. That's where I learned how to act. Hanging out with Kevin James; he's just an amazing comedic actor. Especially in terms of TV acting, which is really hard to pull off in a sitcom format. Also Jerry Stiller, who is such an old pro. He would go over the lines a million times like he thought he wouldn't get it, but then he would nail it every fucking time. That's where I first met Bryan Cranston, who was a regular for a while. And Jere Burns was there. For some reason, they didn't fire me after the second season, when they were thinking about writing my character out because I was just such a shit actor. I just got to go down and watch Kevin doing his scenes and learn that way, and luckily I didn't lose the job.

(2012, on Young Adult) I went in because I'd become friends with Jason [Reitman], and we bonded over the fact that we're such movie buffs and we both own French bulldogs. So he said, "Can you come in and just read this script that we're trying to figure out, as a favor?" He did say there'd be some cold readings with three different actresses who were being considered for the lead, and I was there for each. And he kept asking me to come back, and then they had Charlize [Theron] come in, and she really wanted to do it at that point. He said, "Why don't you come back and read for this role again," and we just clicked. There was something about it, we just started making fun of each other in between the read and just got along, and he's like, "Yeah, that's it. You guys are doing it." I saw how amazing Charlize was just sitting at the table read that that's the first time that I ever hired an acting coach and really started doing the fucking work. That was a huge evolution for me because that was about the time that I was going back to see more Broadway shows, and was really getting into Breaking Bad and watching Bryan Cranston. And I realized all these actors that I really liked are the types where they're like, "Let's just get the highlighter pen and do the fucking work and make this great." That's so much what Charlize was about. "Let's do the work and make it great." So I thought, "I'm going to show up with the work fucking done and ready to go." I have some projects coming up where it's like, "Here's your script; you better go sit down with your coach and be ready." And I'm so glad that Young Adult gave me that experience.

(2012, on A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas) I was in New York doing something. Or maybe it was Chicago. But I got a call asking if I wanted to go to Detroit and film one really fun scene where I was a Santa Claus selling weed. I knew the writers. So I just said yeah. I blew the second 3-D puff of pot smoke in film history. Someone needs to add that to my Wikipedia.

Based on my own experience, when you're going through adolescence you don't know how the world works. You can't set a story in the world you live in because you don't know what a utility bill is, or how to budget your paycheck. So you either set it in a zombie apocalypse, a wasteland or a spaceship. I think which one you choose decides the adult you become.