Mrs. T. : [Commercial for Mr. and Mrs. T Bloody Mary Mix]  [shouting]  Mrs. T. : 'scuse me! It's me and my husband, Mr. T for Mr. and Mrs. T Bloody Mary Mix!I pity the fool how doesn't use it! I'll kill him to death, but I'll pity him first! Mr. T. : I pity the foo'! Mrs. T. : First, take some vodka! Then add Mr. and Mrs. T Bloody Mary Mix! Then drink it! That's bad! Grrrr! So get Mr. and Mrs. T's Bloody Mary Mix! Mr. T. : Buy it or I'll kill ya!

Mister Robinson : Do you know what these are, boys and girls? These are drums. Do you know where drums come from? They come from Africa. [Sits down, begins playing and singing]  Mister Robinson : It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight... [phone rings]  Mister Robinson : This is how you answer a phone in my neighborhood. WHAT IS IT? LOUD? NAH, THAT AIN'T LOUD; THIS IS LOUD! [Blows a whistle into the phone, sits down and begins playing the drums again]  Mister Robinson : . Mr. T. : [Beating on the door]  Robinson! Robinson! I told you to stop beatin' them drums! Mister Robinson : That's my new neighbor, boys and girls. But, don't worry, I put a new lock on the door. He can't get in hear. [Starts playing the drums again]  Mr. T. : [Kicks in door, walks in and grabs Mr. Robinson by the neck]  Hello, boys and girls; the word for today, 'pain'. [to Mr. Robinson]  Mr. T. : Sing the song. Mister Robinson : [singing]  A very happy tomorrow to you. Mr. T. : [choking Robinson]  Good night, boys and girls.