Regis Philbin : We went to this little restaurant on the Upper East Side called Aboo Dabby which you know in Italian means... Kathy Lee Gifford : [makes hand motions]  "Affection". Regis Philbin : No, no, it's actually "abundance". Kathy Lee Gifford : Oh, ok. "Abundance". [makes another hand motion]  Regis Philbin : And there was so much food, that at one point Gail looked at me and said, "You expect me to eat all this?" Kathy Lee Gifford : [starts jumping up and down in the seat]  Oh. Oh, what did Gail say? What did Gail say? Regis Philbin : I, I just told you what Gail said.

George H.W. Bush : [training Dubya on how to speak to the press]  Now, son, try it again. George W. Bush : No, you're giving me a headache! Can I just go get a Pop-Tart?

[about the 1997 Marlins-Indians World Series]  Norm Macdonald : Well, you've said a lot about the mascots, Harry, but what about the players? Harry Caray : They won't be a factor, Norm. Trust me.

Sean Connery : Knock, knock. Alex Trebek : Who's there? Sean Connery : Me, the guy who slept with your mother last night!

Langford T. Belmont : So when it comes time to fix that refrigerator magnet or put together a little house of popsicle sticks, you don't want some cheap synthetic glue. You want pure mutilated horse paste.

Harry Caray : Hey, if you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself? Colin Quinn : I don't know. Harry Caray : Don't jerk me around, Norm, it's a simple question. A baby could answer it. If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself? Colin Quinn : I guess so. Harry Caray : Oh, you made a wise choice, my friend.

Marty Culp : Bobbi and I once faced the terrors of tripping on pot.

George W. Bush : I'm gonna be around for a long time. On the job, making the tough decisions 24/7. That's 24 hours a week, 7 months a year.