Lyons : It says scopophilia is the more urgent form of voyeurism. Leyland : Hmm? Lyons : The need to watch others undress. Leyland : Blimey, I've had that for years. Lyons : Not with an entire football team. Leyland : No I'm a rugby man, mate! Different shaped balls.

Emile Prevert : Cheri, Loins... Lyons : His excellency meant Lyons, madam. My name is Lyons. Emmannuelle Prevert : I prefer Loins. Lyons : Likewise, madam.

[Lyons, the butler, meets the Emmannuelle for the first time. She turns up to surprise her husband at the French Ambassador's Residence in Central London]  Lyons : Can I help you? Emmannuelle Prevert : I am your mistress. Lyons : Oh my gawd! [Panicked, he slams the door. Pause, to himself:]  Lyons : I don't have a mistress! [Opening the door again:]  Lyons : I don't have a mistress. Emmannuelle Prevert : You have now! To begin with you can tell the Ambassador that his wife is here!