(by Dane Youssef)One of the best athletes and most popular in all of the fictitious cartoon small town of Bluffington, Patricia Mayonnaise is someone who defines the term best of all worlds. With her heavy southern accent, light dainty voice and graceful way for a tomboy, Patti Mayonnaise is one of the most popular people in all of Bluffington. Patti can be one of the boys and hold her own among them, even outdo them in their precious favored male pastimes.But Patti is just as able to chat and talk about lady-stuff with her girlfriends as hair, shoes, clothes, make-up and the like. Patti is truly a gifted athlete, though the show mostly just focuses on Doug's infatuation with her. Seeing as how the whole show is about him and the world from his perspective, we only get her when he's either admiring her from a distance or they're together in her fantasies.Bebe, Connie are her life-long gal pals. But of course, Skeeter and Chalkie are her boy-buddies.Equally a whiz at baseball, basketball, ballet, running track, soccer, horseback riding, among may other athletic outdoor endeavors, Patti is truly an all-around jock.She seemed to like Doug from the beginning, although only as a very close friend. It was anyone's guess whether or not she felt the same way or ever were.Her short manageable hairdo, her raspy southern voice, her well-toned aerodynamic body and girl-next-door way.Every single year she auditions at the Bluffington Ballet School for the seasonal Beetcracker Ballet . And gets the plum lead every year. One year, she danced with Doug in the leading roles.This was a dream and a nightmare for poor Doug. Because as much as he's wanted to dance with Patti since the day he laid eyes on her, he's also just as much NEVER wanted to take ballet, put on a pair of tights and look awkward in front of girls (especially Patti).In the beginning, Doug was as awkward as it is possible to be for a newcomer at the barre' (this poor little boy could barely keep up with the girls). He didn't know the terms for the steps, he got his legs tangled, his feet mangled and knocked to the ground like a featherweight boxer. Ballet is not for lightweights. But he eventually got better and even good enough to hold his own with his beloved Patti. Though it was still her show. The ballet, not the Doug show obviously.She's lived with her widowed father for years, a wheelchair-bound man named Chad. Whether Chad being in a wheelchair was related to what killed Patti's mother is a possibility. She used to live in a house with her both her parents, but her mother passed away. Patti is an only child. Perhaps because her mother tragically died all too soon.In one episode, Doug knocks down an old condemned house without knowing whose it was. For a while, it seemed like disaster for the two of them and even Doug had grown angry and fed-up with her. But it all turned out to be a real turning point for the two of them and their relationship.After graduation, Doug joins the ranks of his friends (as well as enemies, Roger and his gang) at Middle School. Everything changes. Not just school, but the things Doug liked are no longer so common in the world. The Beets. The Honker Burger. Smash Adams movies. Even Doug's dreams are a little different. And Patti has an ever shorter hair-do. She's now home-schooled by her dear-old dad. Though she sort of moonlights at the Middle School. And there's a popular huckster at the Middle School running the newspaper name Guy who may have his sights set on her. The type that girls go for. Doug may have is work cut out for him.Near the end of the second Doug series, it looks as if Patti was asked Doug on an official date... with no fine print or catch anywhere. Is Doug finally coming within reach of his dream? Everything seems to be changing. Have Patti's feelings towards Doug moved in a whole new direction... or were they there all along?(by Dane Youssef)