Chloe Moore : Come on Fred, I'll get you something to eat. Fred Moore : I could do with a bit. Sid : Spoken like a true man!

[Miss Withering tests out Mr Boggs' new toilet seat]  W.C. : Well Miss Withering, how does it feel, comfortable? Hortence Withering : Yes I think so Mr Boggs. W.C. : Good, good. Comfort before beauty, that's what I always say. Sid : It a bit big in the bowl, ain't it? Charles Coote : It is only 2 centrementres more than our last model and I'm sure we shan't fall out over that. Sid : Its falling in I'm worried about! W.C. : No, no! I live your overall design Mr Coote. Charles Coote : Oh thank you Sir. Hortence Withering : May I get off now please? W.C. : Yes of course Mrs Withering, and thank you you have been most patient. Sid : Yes like Jove on a monument, and what a monument! W.C. : Yes, we must make sure that the catch is strong enough to support the seat. Sid : Do you mind if I try it? W.C. : No, go ahead. [Sid gets out his paper and starts moving around from side to side on the new toilet]  Sid : Yes I don't think I could stand it for more than half an hour. Charles Coote : It was hardly designed for a reading room! Sid : Ere... Look at this very slender this pedestle... Isn't it? Charles Coote : It's streamlined! Sid : What for, wind resistance? Charles Coote : In any case the thickness has nothing to do whatsoever with the tensile strength. W.C. : I hope your right Mr Coote. I have had bitter experience of what happens when one of these collapses, or rather my poor wife had, God rest her soul.

[Sid and Beattie Plummer are discussing the mating habits of budgerigars]  Beattie : Well, we know Joey's a he-bird... Sid : Cock. Beattie : He is! The man in the pet shop said so!

[disguised as a fortune teller Sid is prognosticating on W. C. Boggs and Miss Withering's future]  Sid : I see a marriage and one, two, three... fourteen children!

Sid : How about some food? Beattie : Well I could make you some beans on toast or something? Sid : No, nothing too elaborate, thank you.

[W.C. Boggs on fortune tellers... ]  W.C. : Fakes, that's all they are, sitting there staring in their crystal whatsitsnames. Sid : Balls. W.C. : I quite agree!