Charlotte Randall : Will? Please, can I talk to you? For a moment? Just a moment of your time. For 16 years, that's pretty cheap. Will Randall : What do you want? Charlotte Randall : I want to come back. Will Randall : No. Charlotte Randall : I have no excuse. I deserve anything you do to me. I'm just... begging you... to be kind. Will Randall : Stewart become unlovable now that he's out of my job? Charlotte Randall : I never loved Stewart. I was a mistake, Will. I'm going to talk to him. Stewart never, for one moment, meant anything to me. Will Randall : And you think that makes it better? That you betrayed me over and over again with a man that meant nothing to you? To know that you betrayed me for nothing? Charlotte Randall : Don't be such a smug - ! Will Randall : Don't touch me! And keep away.

Charlotte Randall : Will? Will Randall : It's 7:40! I asked you to give me til 8! Charlotte Randall : It's 7:40 at night, you dope! You've been sleeping all day. Are you alright? How do you feel? Will Randall : I feel ah, good!

Doctor : In Vermont? I don't think so, Will. Will Randall : You weren't there, Ralph. Doctor : Are you sure it wasn't a Husky or a German Shepherd? And after all, it was night, wasn't it? It was dark out. Will Randall : Full moon. And to answer your question, it was a wolf. It was staring straight at me, you don't confuse a dog with a wolf. Doctor : I see, whatever you say. You know, it's funny, this isn't the first Rabies shot I have given in the last few months. My wife's sister-in-law up in Onianca, a raccoon chased her up onto her porch and bit her in the ass. And last summer, the son of a friend of mine sustained brain damage from a snake bite. This kid was sitting in front of his pool and the next thing you know, he has brain damage. Will Randall : Is he all right? Doctor : Who? Will Randall : Your friend's son? Doctor : No, you idiot. He has brain damage.

Will Randall : I did it the old fashioned way. Charlotte Randall : What do you mean? Will Randall : I begged.

Charlotte Randall : I never loved Stewart. It was a mistake Will. I'm going to talk to him. Stewart, never for one moment, mentioned he loved me. Will Randall : You think that makes it better? To betray me over and over again with a man that ment nothing to you? To know you betrayed me for nothing. Charlotte Randall : Don't be a smug... Will Randall : Don't touch me! And Keep Away.

Will Randall : You are such a polished ass kisser that it takes my breath away. Stewart Swinton : I kiss 'em like I see 'em.

Roy : I have TWO questions; How many investors do we have? Will Randall : I don't know. Haven't called any yet. Roy : But you want me to say it anyway? Will Randall : Yes. Roy : Second thing: Is any of this true? Will Randall : Not yet. Roy : You are my God.

Stewart Swinton : Suede shoes. Will Randall : Asparagus.

Stewart Swinton : What are you crazy? Will Randall : [after pissing on his shoes]  NO! I'm just marking my territory, and you got in the way.

Mary : Is the worm turning, Mr. Randall? Will Randall : The worm has turned and it is now packing an Uzi, Mary. Mary : It's about fucking time, sir.

Will Randall : I've been offered a choice between no job and a job no one would want.

Dr. Vijay Alezias : The demon wolf is not evil, unless the man he has bitten is evil. And it feels good to be a wolf, doesn't it? Will Randall : Indeed it does.

Will Randall : I've never loved anybody this way. Never looked at a woman and thought, if civilization fails, if the world ends, I'll still understand what God meant.

Will Randall : What do you do? Laura : Why do you care? Will Randall : I don't. I was just making polite conversation. Laura : I'd rather not discuss what I do. Will Randall : You know, I think I understand what you're like now. You're very beautiful and you think men are only interested in you because you're beautiful, but you want them to be interested in you because you're you. The problem is, aside from all that beauty, you're not very interesting. You're rude, you're hostile, you're sullen, you're withdrawn. I know you want someone to look past all that at the real person underneath but the only reason anyone would bother to look past all that is because you're beautful. Ironic, isn't it? In an odd way you're your own problem. Laura : Sorry. Wrong line. I am not taken aback by your keen insight and suddenly challenged by you.