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Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, ex...
Show more
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.
Show less
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, ex...
Show more
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.
Show less
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, ex...
Show more
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.
Show less
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, ex...
Show more
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.
Show less
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, ex...
Show more
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.
Show less
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, ex...
Show more
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.
Show less
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, ex...
Show more
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.
Show less
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, ex...
Show more
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.
Show less
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, ex...
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Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.
Show less
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, ex...
Show more
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.
Show less
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Hawkeye : You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Trapper : They got a lot of guts. Hawkeye : And they keep serving them.
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Frank Burns : All right, where's my razor? Hawkeye : Been shaving your legs again, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Margaret : I am a woman, after all. Hawkeye : [turning to Burns] Is that true, Frank?
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Hawkeye : [speaking to Klinger] Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Frank Burns : You disgust me! Hawkeye : You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : [in describing the Swamp] We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
Hawkeye : If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
[to Margaret] Hawkeye : Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Father Mulcahy : [Some Refugees leave on a truck, Father Mulcahy is handing out the Holy Bible] Here you go kids... just something to read on the way. Hawkeye : If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere.
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Hawkeye : [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy!
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
Trapper : Take a walk, Frank. Hawkeye : Yeah, take a major walk.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
[South Koreans are being taught to speak English] Frank Burns : We're making real progress. Hawkeye : I can tell. You have a Korean accent.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Hawkeye : How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
Frank Burns : Why don't you guys like me? Hawkeye : Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person. Frank Burns : Aside from that. B.J. : Well, there's your pimples. Frank Burns : My pores won't close.
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Calling Maj. Freedman] Hawkeye : Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
[Margaret has just thanked Hawkeye] Hawkeye : Margaret, I'm honored, touched... and aroused.
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Insanity is just a state of mind
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Hawkeye : Blow in my ear. Margaret : What? Hawkeye : I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
Frank Burns : Attention all Allied personnel! There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one. Hawkeye : Very good, Frank. B.J. : They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
[as Maj. Burns looks for bombs in a field] B.J. : What's Frank up to? Hawkeye : I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Hawkeye : Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Hawkeye : I'm too frightened to be scared.
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Radar : [on the phone with the US] Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there? Hawkeye : Well, it's today here. B.J. : It's always today here. Hawkeye : Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow? B.J. : Good point. Hawkeye : Ha, I wasn't born yesterday!
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : I know I'm a real asset. Hawkeye : You're only off by two letters.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Frank Burns : This is the last straw! Hawkeye : Remind me to order more straws.
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, ex...
Show more
Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse. Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye? Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell? Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe. Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.
Show less
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce
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