Doctor : [With a very bad Spanish accent]  Ole, señor! Marjoribanks : Oh, hello Binn. Doctor : No, señor. I am the famous Torero from Madrid. Marjoribanks : You look exactly like our medical officer, Dr Binn. Doctor : No, Señor. This afternoon I fight 15 bulls. Marjoribanks : That's an awful lot of bull. Doctor : Well, my father he breeds the famous fighting bulls, you know. Every year, 50,000 bulls he sends off by ship to South America. Marjoribanks : 50,000 bulls? Doctor : Si, si. Also every year, 20,000 more he ships off to France. Marjoribanks : That's 70,000 bulls. Doctor : Si, si. One of the biggest bullshippers in the business.

Haines : [Haines, having come to sick bay for a sea-sickness cure, refuses to have an injection in his arm]  I can't bear to see the needle going in, you see. Doctor : Well, in that case there's only one other place for it to go. Drop 'em! Haines : I'm not holding them, whatever they are! Marjoribanks : I gather the Doctor means your trousers. Haines : Oh. What!

Marjoribanks : I always find the first few days make me feel quite drowsy. Captain : Shut your port-hole. Marjoribanks : Begging your pardon, sir, one must have fresh... Captain : ...and your cake-hole.

Marjoribanks : Gentlemen, have I your agreement for a policy of unremitting quasi-teutonic organisational protectionism?

Captain : Paperwork: not my favourite occupation. Marjoribanks : Nor mine. Captain : It's going to be from now on. Marjoribanks : Charming. Captain : Health Report, Dock Report, Crew Report, Food Report, Log Report, Sports Report, Diesel Oil and Fuel Report. Marjoribanks : [singing:]  And a partridge in a pear tree!

Captain : I'm going to be blunt, and make some very cutting remarks. Marjoribanks : To be sure, sir, that's a contradiction in terms, but then English is a very curious language! Captain : If you interrupt me once more, Mr....? Marjoribanks : Marjoribanks, sir. Captain : You interrupt me once more, mate, and you'll hear some really curious language!