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Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Lenny, Kent Brockman, Dr. Hibbert, Mr. Burns, Waylon Smithers, Otto, Montgomery Burns, Reverend Lovejoy...
Mrs. Krabappel : You're endangering the childrens' future! Principal Skinner : [too loud] Oh, come on Edna, you know as well as I that these kids HAVE no future! Ha! Prove me wrong, children!
Mrs. Krabappel : You're endangering the childrens' future! Principal Skinner : [too loud] Oh, come on Edna, you know as well as I that these kids HAVE no future! Ha! Prove me wrong, children!
Principal Skinner : In the interests of open dialogue, sit quietly and watch this film.
Principal Skinner : In the interests of open dialogue, sit quietly and watch this film.
Mr. Burns : Would you care for some dangerous drugs? Homer : Well, if that is your custom...
Mr. Burns : Would you care for some dangerous drugs? Homer : Well, if that is your custom...
Mr. Burns : Are you sure you haven't just made hundreds of mistakes? Doctor : ...Yes.
Mr. Burns : Are you sure you haven't just made hundreds of mistakes? Doctor : ...Yes.
Ned Flanders : [Flanders pours Homer a beer from a tap in his rumpus room] Here's a tasty little lager that came all the way from Holland. Homer : Well, beggy can't be choosy. [Homer drinks some and let's out a loud belch]
Ned Flanders : [Flanders pours Homer a beer from a tap in his rumpus room] Here's a tasty little lager that came all the way from Holland. Homer : Well, beggy can't be choosy. [Homer drinks some and let's out a loud belch]
Principal Skinner : [over the school's PA system] Students, I have an announcement. One of your favourite comic book heroes, Radio Man... Nelson : Radioactive Man, stupid! Principal Skinner : Strange. I shouldn't have been able to hear that.
Principal Skinner : [over the school's PA system] Students, I have an announcement. One of your favourite comic book heroes, Radio Man... Nelson : Radioactive Man, stupid! Principal Skinner : Strange. I shouldn't have been able to hear that.
Mr. Burns : [after Bart knocks Smithers unconscious with a rock] I like him a lot.
Mr. Burns : [after Bart knocks Smithers unconscious with a rock] I like him a lot.
Principal Skinner : But how will children learn if they don't feel like they're in kid jail?
Principal Skinner : But how will children learn if they don't feel like they're in kid jail?
Kang : No Pickle, Butter Brickle.
Kang : No Pickle, Butter Brickle.
Coma Guy : Are Sonny and Cher still doing that stupid show? Kent Brockman : She won an Oscar and he's a Congressman! Coma Guy : Good night! [Dies]
Coma Guy : Are Sonny and Cher still doing that stupid show? Kent Brockman : She won an Oscar and he's a Congressman! Coma Guy : Good night! [Dies]
Principal Skinner : Silent Anger! The cornerstone of a successful marriage...
Principal Skinner : Silent Anger! The cornerstone of a successful marriage...
Mr. Glascock : This is a great day for me. I thought Id never teach again. Principal Skinner : Well, thinks have changed. There will be no mockery of your name, Mr. Glascock.
Mr. Glascock : This is a great day for me. I thought Id never teach again. Principal Skinner : Well, thinks have changed. There will be no mockery of your name, Mr. Glascock.
Principal Skinner : [Loudspeaker] Someone has been distributing counterfeit candy hearts with off colour sentiments on them. I would like to remind you that Valentine's Day is no laughing matter! [Vietnam Flashback] Principal Skinner : Writing a Valentine to your sweetheart, Johnny? Johnny : You betcha! [Machine-gunned to death] Principal Skinner : Johnny...
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Principal Skinner : [Loudspeaker] Someone has been distributing counterfeit candy hearts with off colour sentiments on them. I would like to remind you that Valentine's Day is no laughing matter! [Vietnam Flashback] Principal Skinner : Writing a Valentine to your sweetheart, Johnny? Johnny : You betcha! [Machine-gunned to death] Principal Skinner : Johnny? Johnny! [Doesn't realise he's thinking aloud] Principal Skinner : JOHNNYYYY! Bart : Cool, I broke his brain!
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Superintendent Chalmers : [tractored from behind by Bart] I was going to make you Deputy Superintendent, but now that plum goes to Holloway! Principal Skinner : Holloway? But he's a drunk! Superintendent Chalmers : And a pill-popper! And what is a Dinner Lady doing posing as a Nurse? Lunchlady Doris : I get two paychecks this way. Superintendent Chalmers : ...
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Superintendent Chalmers : [tractored from behind by Bart] I was going to make you Deputy Superintendent, but now that plum goes to Holloway! Principal Skinner : Holloway? But he's a drunk! Superintendent Chalmers : And a pill-popper! And what is a Dinner Lady doing posing as a Nurse? Lunchlady Doris : I get two paychecks this way. Superintendent Chalmers : D'oh.
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Mr. Burns : Smithers, unleash the League of Evil! Waylon Smithers : [Opens Secret Panel. The League are all dead] Mr. Burns : My League! What happened to my beautiful League? Waylon Smithers : Even Monsters need air, Sir.
Mr. Burns : Smithers, unleash the League of Evil! Waylon Smithers : [Opens Secret Panel. The League are all dead] Mr. Burns : My League! What happened to my beautiful League? Waylon Smithers : Even Monsters need air, Sir.
Kent Brockman : Tonight on Eye on Springfield, we meet a man who's been hiccupping for seven years... Mr Hiccups : Hic! Kill me! Hic! Kill me!
Kent Brockman : Tonight on Eye on Springfield, we meet a man who's been hiccupping for seven years... Mr Hiccups : Hic! Kill me! Hic! Kill me!
Kent Brockman : Tonight we ask "Do Opposites Attract?" as the World's oldest man meets the World's fattest man...
Kent Brockman : Tonight we ask "Do Opposites Attract?" as the World's oldest man meets the World's fattest man...
Principal Skinner : Today we're doing Coding, moving on from our last educational fad, "Mindfulness". Did anyone work out what that was all about? [undecided murmurs] Milhouse : Shutting up? Principal Skinner : Sure, whatever.
Principal Skinner : Today we're doing Coding, moving on from our last educational fad, "Mindfulness". Did anyone work out what that was all about? [undecided murmurs] Milhouse : Shutting up? Principal Skinner : Sure, whatever.
Kent Brockman : Human feelings, expressed by a Human.
Kent Brockman : Human feelings, expressed by a Human.
Mr. Burns : Bosh! Flimshaw!
Mr. Burns : Bosh! Flimshaw!
Superintendent Chalmers : I do not belong here! I am not bald, I am balding! Why doesn't anyone respect the Ding? Principal Skinner : I respect the Ding, Sir! Superintendent Chalmers : What in God's name are you talking about?
Superintendent Chalmers : I do not belong here! I am not bald, I am balding! Why doesn't anyone respect the Ding? Principal Skinner : I respect the Ding, Sir! Superintendent Chalmers : What in God's name are you talking about?
Mr. Burns : [Old Timey Atom Factory] Come on boys, crack those atoms! You! Turn out your pockets! Atoms! Six of them! Take him away! The Working Man : You can't do this to the working man! One day we'll form a Union and get the Fair and Equitable treatment we deserve! And then we'll go too far and get corrupt and shiftless, and the Japanese will eat us aliv...
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Mr. Burns : [Old Timey Atom Factory] Come on boys, crack those atoms! You! Turn out your pockets! Atoms! Six of them! Take him away! The Working Man : You can't do this to the working man! One day we'll form a Union and get the Fair and Equitable treatment we deserve! And then we'll go too far and get corrupt and shiftless, and the Japanese will eat us alive! Mr. Burns : The Japanese! Those sandal wearing basket weavers! Mr. Burns : [Present Day] If only we'd listened to that man instead of walling him up in an old coke oven...
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Mr. Burns : [repeated line, whenever he forgets Homer's name] Simpson, eh?
Mr. Burns : [repeated line, whenever he forgets Homer's name] Simpson, eh?
[repeated lines] Mr. Burns : Who is that man? Waylon Smithers : That's Homer Simpson, sir. One of your _ from sector 7G. Mr. Burns : Simpson, eh?
[repeated lines] Mr. Burns : Who is that man? Waylon Smithers : That's Homer Simpson, sir. One of your _ from sector 7G. Mr. Burns : Simpson, eh?
Principal Skinner : [Lisa's President in the Future] Your nutrition and education programs just created a generation of Supercriminals.
Principal Skinner : [Lisa's President in the Future] Your nutrition and education programs just created a generation of Supercriminals.
Mr. Burns : Summon the Shire-Reeve, wake the Beadle!
Mr. Burns : Summon the Shire-Reeve, wake the Beadle!
Principal Skinner : It's the only Behaviour Modification Camp cruel enough to scare kids like Bart straight, and then send them home quietly ticking away...
Principal Skinner : It's the only Behaviour Modification Camp cruel enough to scare kids like Bart straight, and then send them home quietly ticking away...
Ned Flanders : [people are missing the point of Flanders' "Hell House"] No! His sin was thinking that women are beautiful!
Ned Flanders : [people are missing the point of Flanders' "Hell House"] No! His sin was thinking that women are beautiful!
Homer : Oh, great! Mormons! Kang : Actually, we're Quantum Presbytarians...
Homer : Oh, great! Mormons! Kang : Actually, we're Quantum Presbytarians...
Superintendent Chalmers : [Vaudeville] What I am asking you is "Who's on first?" Principal Skinner : A man called Hoo is on First Base, whose name confusingly sounds like the question "Who?" Superintendent Chalmers : Well, Seymour, you have ruined the Act. Ya sexless freak.
Superintendent Chalmers : [Vaudeville] What I am asking you is "Who's on first?" Principal Skinner : A man called Hoo is on First Base, whose name confusingly sounds like the question "Who?" Superintendent Chalmers : Well, Seymour, you have ruined the Act. Ya sexless freak.
Kent Brockman : And I, for one, welcome our insect Overlords...
Kent Brockman : And I, for one, welcome our insect Overlords...
Reverend Lovejoy : Have you ever thought about one of the other major religions, Ned? They're all just as good...
Reverend Lovejoy : Have you ever thought about one of the other major religions, Ned? They're all just as good...
Otto : [at the wrong film] I never realised British Coal Miners had it so hard. There's blood on your hands, Mrs Thatcher!
Otto : [at the wrong film] I never realised British Coal Miners had it so hard. There's blood on your hands, Mrs Thatcher!
Kent Brockman : And that's how a Hippo became a Deputy. Homer : ...Stupid Hippo.
Kent Brockman : And that's how a Hippo became a Deputy. Homer : ...Stupid Hippo.
Ned Flanders : Science is like someone who tells you the end of a movie before you've watched it! I say there are some things we don't want to know! Important things!
Ned Flanders : Science is like someone who tells you the end of a movie before you've watched it! I say there are some things we don't want to know! Important things!
Mr. Burns : What was I laughing at? Oh, yes, that crippled Irishman! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Mr. Burns : What was I laughing at? Oh, yes, that crippled Irishman! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Captain McCallister : I'll need three ships and fifty stout men. We'll sail around the Horn and return with spices and silk, the likes of which ye have never seen. Mr. Burns : We are building a CASINO. Captain McCallister : Aaaaarrr... Can you give me 5 minutes?
Captain McCallister : I'll need three ships and fifty stout men. We'll sail around the Horn and return with spices and silk, the likes of which ye have never seen. Mr. Burns : We are building a CASINO. Captain McCallister : Aaaaarrr... Can you give me 5 minutes?
Mrs Lovejoy : [the Parson is coming] Please try and relax. Reverend Lovejoy : But he's like the Pope of this thing!
Mrs Lovejoy : [the Parson is coming] Please try and relax. Reverend Lovejoy : But he's like the Pope of this thing!
Mr. Burns : Smithers, get this bedlamite an alienist!
Mr. Burns : Smithers, get this bedlamite an alienist!
[repeated line] Reverend Lovejoy : Damn Flanders.
[repeated line] Reverend Lovejoy : Damn Flanders.
Ned Flanders : Absotively Posolutely!
Ned Flanders : Absotively Posolutely!
Kent Brockman : So I guess you could say this barely qualifies as news...
Kent Brockman : So I guess you could say this barely qualifies as news...
Homer : [at a company picnic held at Mr Burns' mansion] Oh, boss. Look what we brought. [holds up a jello mould] Homer : Gelatine desserts. Mr. Burns : [slaps his head] Oh, for the love of Peter. That's what everybody brought. Some damn fool [Homer] Mr. Burns : went around telling everyone I love that slimy goop. [motions to a whole collection of jello m...
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Homer : [at a company picnic held at Mr Burns' mansion] Oh, boss. Look what we brought. [holds up a jello mould] Homer : Gelatine desserts. Mr. Burns : [slaps his head] Oh, for the love of Peter. That's what everybody brought. Some damn fool [Homer] Mr. Burns : went around telling everyone I love that slimy goop. [motions to a whole collection of jello moulds] Mr. Burns : Well, toss it in the pile over there. [grudgingly] Mr. Burns : And make yourselves at home.
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Homer : Sanctuary! Reverend Lovejoy : Oh, why did I teach him that word?
Homer : Sanctuary! Reverend Lovejoy : Oh, why did I teach him that word?
Principal Skinner : [Not happy with the "Puma Pride" mural] The shapely female form has no place in Art!
Principal Skinner : [Not happy with the "Puma Pride" mural] The shapely female form has no place in Art!
Bart : [filling Skinner's pants with cats and dynamite] Principal Skinner : This is not going to end well.
Bart : [filling Skinner's pants with cats and dynamite] Principal Skinner : This is not going to end well.
Principal Skinner : Despite all the Ritalin, Bart has moved on to drugs...
Principal Skinner : Despite all the Ritalin, Bart has moved on to drugs...
Marge : We've got to get you away from these violent influences and into Church! Reverend Lovejoy : And then the Belshazzemites did PIERCE the eyes of their foes and feasted upon what flowed thereforth.
Marge : We've got to get you away from these violent influences and into Church! Reverend Lovejoy : And then the Belshazzemites did PIERCE the eyes of their foes and feasted upon what flowed thereforth.
[repeated line] Mr. Burns : Ahoy-hoy?/!
[repeated line] Mr. Burns : Ahoy-hoy?/!
Mr. Burns : Bolshevism! Sheer Bolshevism! Ripe for the quashing!
Mr. Burns : Bolshevism! Sheer Bolshevism! Ripe for the quashing!
[repeated lines] Homer : Shut up, Flanders! Ned Flanders : Okily-dokily!
[repeated lines] Homer : Shut up, Flanders! Ned Flanders : Okily-dokily!
Kent Brockman : [in front of a mugshot of HRH Queen Elizabeth II] And the Queen will be held without bail until the sample is returned.
Kent Brockman : [in front of a mugshot of HRH Queen Elizabeth II] And the Queen will be held without bail until the sample is returned.
[repeated line] Mr. Burns : Excellent.
[repeated line] Mr. Burns : Excellent.
Principal Skinner : There's no justice like angry-mob justice.
Principal Skinner : There's no justice like angry-mob justice.
Homer : Oh no, Aliens! Well, I suppose you want to probe me, might as well get it over with. Kang : Stop! [Tentacles quiver] Kang : We've reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us...
Homer : Oh no, Aliens! Well, I suppose you want to probe me, might as well get it over with. Kang : Stop! [Tentacles quiver] Kang : We've reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us...
Principal Skinner : Mrs Krabappel is in Portland. It turns out the people she hired to deprogram her sister out of that Cult were an even worse Cult.
Principal Skinner : Mrs Krabappel is in Portland. It turns out the people she hired to deprogram her sister out of that Cult were an even worse Cult.
Ned Flanders : Hi-diddly-ho, neighbourino!
Ned Flanders : Hi-diddly-ho, neighbourino!
Kent Brockman : So, Senator, tell our viewers why they should vote for you? Kang : [Bioduplicated to look like the Senator] It makes no difference who you vote for! Either way your Planet is Doomed! Doomed! Kent Brockman : Well, a refreshingly honest response there from Senator Bob Dole!
Kent Brockman : So, Senator, tell our viewers why they should vote for you? Kang : [Bioduplicated to look like the Senator] It makes no difference who you vote for! Either way your Planet is Doomed! Doomed! Kent Brockman : Well, a refreshingly honest response there from Senator Bob Dole!
Mr. Burns : Smithers, release the hounds.
Mr. Burns : Smithers, release the hounds.
Mr. Burns : Whoa, slow down there maestro. There's a NEW Mexico?
Mr. Burns : Whoa, slow down there maestro. There's a NEW Mexico?
Mr. Burns : [Giving a talk to inspire the school] Okay, I'm going to keep this short. Friends, family, religion. These are the demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. Any questions?
Mr. Burns : [Giving a talk to inspire the school] Okay, I'm going to keep this short. Friends, family, religion. These are the demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. Any questions?
Ned Flanders : You know, a man came into the store today and asked for change for a dollar, and I accidentally gave him three quarters. Took me all afternoon just to track him down.
Ned Flanders : You know, a man came into the store today and asked for change for a dollar, and I accidentally gave him three quarters. Took me all afternoon just to track him down.
Elf : Welcome to Santa's Village, where it's Christmas everyday! Closed on Christmas.
Elf : Welcome to Santa's Village, where it's Christmas everyday! Closed on Christmas.
Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Lenny, Kent Brockman, Dr. Hibbert, Mr. Burns, Waylon Smithers, Otto, Montgomery Burns, Reverend Lovejoy...
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