Himself - Guest Presenter : And how did the Daily Mail react to the news that a Shanghai University has developed technology that can supposedly tell if someone is innocent or guilty just by analysing their face? Ian Hislop : By suggesting only 100% of people should be locked up immediately?

Himself - Guest Presenter : Don't drop a Glass at my Party and tell me it's Kristallnacht, Underwear Boy.

Himself - Guest Presenter : There's been a spike as everyone tries to get in before the Brexit shutters come down, so that's your fault, Suzanne.

Himself - Guest Presenter : How did Boris Johnson stumble off message again this week? Ian Hislop : In Cabinet apparently he blurted out that he was in favour of freedom of movement and an Amnesty for all illegal immigrants who were already here, something he'd said before when he was mayor of London, but then he unsaid it when he decided to support Brexit, and then he obviously forgot when he was in Cabinet that he'd unsaid it, so he said it and now he's unsaid it.

Himself - Guest Presenter : Bees have no sense of their own mortality. I apologise to any bees watching, I know this must come as a bit of a shock.