Hugo : She'll be here. I know women. Joey : We're gonna miss sound check. Sam : I hope she's okay. Joey : She's okay. She's always okay. She just doesn't care. This is why I broke up with her. Tyler : She dumped you. Hugo : Yeah, for being an insensitive prick. [Joey glares at him]  Hugo : Her words, not mine.

Joey : How'd you know my name? Bartender : Oh, I can read your mind. Joey : Wow. What am I thinking right now? Bartender : Well, you're thinking "this bartender is crazy!" Joey : You're good. Bartender : You're afraid of being a loser for the rest of your life. Too late for you. Too late for the band. I would say you're 30 pounds of junk food and a retail job away from killing yourself. Just a guess.

Jennifer : Nobody likes a judge. Joey : Yeah, nobody likes a vampire either. Jennifer : Screw you, Joey! Joey : Screw me? Screw me? You're out of the band, Jennifer! Tyler : She's kind of the best thing about this band right now. Joey : Tyler! Tyler : I'm just saying maybe you should sleep on it. Sam : Oh my God, you really ate beef.

Jennifer : It's not what it looks like. Sam : You ate beef! Jennifer : Everyone be cool. Tyler : Okay, we've definitely smoked PCP. Jennifer : I can explain. Joey : You can explain? You can explain why you're chewing on a severed arm? Jennifer : Oh, don't be such a drama queen.

Joey : We have a six hour drive tomorrow, Jennifer. Jennifer : Yeah, and I don't want to sleep in the hearse. The hearse smells like drummer. Sam : I heard that!