Henderson : Am I crazy or are there only two beds in here? Otis B. Driftwood : Now which question do you want me to answer first, Henderson?

Henderson : The last time I was in this room there were four beds here. Otis B. Driftwood : Please! I'm not interested in your private life, Henderson.

Henderson : Say! Now, how did those two beds get together? Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you know how those things are, they breed like rabbits.

Henderson : Hey, who were you talking to? Otis B. Driftwood : I was talking to myself, and there's nothing you can do about it. I've had three of the best doctors in the East.

Otis B. Driftwood : That's the fire escape. And, uh... that's a table, and this is a room, and there's the door leading out, and I wish you'd use it, I... I vant to be alone! Henderson : You'll be alone when I throw you in jail! Otis B. Driftwood : Isn't there a song like that, Henderson?

Henderson : Say, what's that bed doing there? Otis B. Driftwood : I don't see it doing anything.

Henderson : What's a hermit doing with four beds? Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you see those first three beds? Henderson : Yes. Otis B. Driftwood : Last night, I counted five thousand sheep in those three beds, so I had to have another bed to sleep in. You wouldn't want me to sleep with the sheep, would you?

Henderson : You live here all alone? Otis B. Driftwood : Yes. Just me and my memories. I'm practically a hermit. Henderson : Oh. A hermit. I notice the table's set for four. Otis B. Driftwood : That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight. That doesn't prove a thing.