Prof. Anna Vrooshka : [examining a mosaic of Venus that Crump is excavating]  Aah! That is a Wenus, no? Prof. Roland Crump : [puzzled]  I beg your pardon? Prof. Anna Vrooshka : [emphatically]  It is a Wenus! Prof. Roland Crump : Well, that's neither one thing nor another.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Must be finding doctors. Man is injured. Ernie Bragg : But what man? Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Is professor of archaeology. Is bleeding terrible. Fred Ramsden : Never mind his qualifications. Is he hurt badly?

[Professor Vrooshka objects to the strip teeze act at the Caravan site clubhouse]  Prof. Anna Vrooshka : What is lady doing? Prof. Roland Crump : It's a kind of dance. Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Very perculiar, in my country we don't have dance like this. Prof. Roland Crump : No, you have mixed bathing instead. Prof. Anna Vrooshka : But lady is not taking bath.

[In a heavy Russian accent and in reference to the strip teeze]  Prof. Anna Vrooshka : It is wrong for a lady to show her kernickers in public, No?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka : It's time for knocking off! Prof. Roland Crump : Time for what?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka : I'm sorry Major but I'm not loving you. Maj. Leep : Yes, but... Prof. Anna Vrooshka : You see, when I love a man I give him everything, I give it all. Maj. Leep : But I don't want it all, I just want a bit.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Excuse please, you have scrubbers in caravan? Ernie Bragg : Certainly not!

[Professor Vrooshka cleans her dirty caravan but finds her scrubbing brush isn't up to standard to do the job]  Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Ahh, scrubber. Scrubber no working, borrowing from comrades. Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Excuse please, ahh this is nice, this is very nice, no? Prof. Anna Vrooshka : In this caravan your not getting much crumpet, no? Arthur Upmore : Pardon? Prof. Anna Vrooshka : CRUMPET. Arthur Upmore : Yes that's what I thought you said. Prof. Anna Vrooshka : You see, I am keeping a, how you say, a dirrrty caravan. Arthur Upmore : Keeping a what? Prof. Anna Vrooshka : You see, I am having birds in my caravan you want to come and see? Arthur Upmore : No thank you, not just now. Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Therefore, I am going round camp looking for scrubbers. Arthur Upmore : Really?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka : So you are sleeping in caravan? Prof. Roland Crump : I suppose we could divide it up or something. Prof. Anna Vrooshka : H'ok, if you wishink.

Prof. Roland Crump : We can't share a caravan. Prof. Anna Vrooshka : You thinking you getting crumpet, no? Prof. Roland Crump : Certainly not, where on earth did you learn that expression? Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Crumpet, is to squash it, it is in dictionary, crumpet is to squash it together. Prof. Roland Crump : Oh! You mean cramped. Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Its what I say crumpet. Prof. Roland Crump : Crumpet, crumbit, crampit, well I'm not staying round here much longer, I'm going to the pub to see if they have rooms there. Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Maybe you're getting crumpet in pub also?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka : It's ok we are squeezing in somehow. Prof. Roland Crump : We will do nothing of the sort!

Prof. Roland Crump : You mean the students got here before us? Maj. Leep : Yes, were you held up? Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Yes, before we started we had quick bang together. Prof. Roland Crump : She ran into my caravan! Maj. Leep : Oh? Prof. Roland Crump : No! No! She collided with it now its a complete right-off.

[In a heavy Russian Accent]  Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Don't worry me and Professor Crump will soon be having it off. Prof. Roland Crump : HITTING IT OFF!

The Dean : I'm glad to see you two look like hitting it off. Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Hitting it off, what does hit it off mean? Means like having it off, no? Prof. Roland Crump : Oh no, it means establishing a friendly relationship.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka : I have been examining Hadrian's Walls. Prof. Roland Crump : He only had one. Prof. Anna Vrooshka : One what? Prof. Roland Crump : He had one, one wall. Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Terribly sorry, my English not yet perfected.

[Prof. Anna Vrooshka crashes into Prof. Crump's caravan]  Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Good Mornings, so sorry! Prof. Roland Crump : Well that's alright, don't mention it. The Dean : Crump, I'd like you to meet Professor Vrooshka. [In a heavy Russian accent]  Prof. Anna Vrooshka : How are you doinks?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Tomorrow, we are poking holes all over caravan site. Prof. Roland Crump : I don't think they would like that at all. Prof. Anna Vrooshka : It's ok, we are poking early.

[Professor Vrooshka and Professor Crump bargain with Barnes to rent his derelict looking caravan]  Prof. Anna Vrooshka : Fifteen quids a veek. Barnes : Twenty. Prof. Roland Crump : The only reason why we want the dilapidated mobile hovel, is for somewhere to do out operations. Barnes : Operations? What operations? Prof. Anna Vrooshka : He will be getting them out and I will be examining them and schticking labels on them.