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Gob Bluth
Gob : George Michael... Lets deal some drugs.
Gob : George Michael... Lets deal some drugs.
Michael : Hi, there. Gob : What's she doing here? Maebe : Merry Christmas to you too, Uncle Gob. Michael : Is everything okay? Gob : I just don't want people's kids getting their sticky little fingers all over these $2,600 pants. Michael : You think they're going to go right for the pants?
Michael : Hi, there. Gob : What's she doing here? Maebe : Merry Christmas to you too, Uncle Gob. Michael : Is everything okay? Gob : I just don't want people's kids getting their sticky little fingers all over these $2,600 pants. Michael : You think they're going to go right for the pants?
Wife of Gob : I'm in love with your brother-in-law. George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army? Wife of Gob : No. Your sister's husband. George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : Michael? Michael. Wife of Gob : No. That's your sister's brother. George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : No, I'm my sister's brother.You're in love with me? Me. Wife ...
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Wife of Gob : I'm in love with your brother-in-law. George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army? Wife of Gob : No. Your sister's husband. George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : Michael? Michael. Wife of Gob : No. That's your sister's brother. George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : No, I'm my sister's brother.You're in love with me? Me. Wife of Gob : I'm in love with Tobias. George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : My brother-in-law? Wife of Gob : I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army. George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : To be with your brother? Wife of Gob : No.
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Gob : Hey, Buster hit her. I just gave her the roofie.
Gob : Hey, Buster hit her. I just gave her the roofie.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : [walks in on George-Michael kissing his cousin, Maeby] Dad's going to be crushed. George Michael Bluth : [nervously] You don't have to tell him!
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : [walks in on George-Michael kissing his cousin, Maeby] Dad's going to be crushed. George Michael Bluth : [nervously] You don't have to tell him!
Gob : I'm an ideas man Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain".
Gob : I'm an ideas man Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain".
Gob : Well, I'm not the president, so I dont deserve a fancy phone. Tobias Fünke : Well, the Blue Man Group may need me, and I *do* deserve a fancy phone. Narrator : They didn't. [Tobias flips his phone across the room] Narrator : And he doesn't.
Gob : Well, I'm not the president, so I dont deserve a fancy phone. Tobias Fünke : Well, the Blue Man Group may need me, and I *do* deserve a fancy phone. Narrator : They didn't. [Tobias flips his phone across the room] Narrator : And he doesn't.
Buster : Hey, I just came to tell you that I can't do that wall. Drill Instructor : There's no time for that. We're shipping out without you. Haven't you heard? [hands Buster military files] Buster : Weapons of Mass Destruction? Gob : Those bastards. Drill Instructor : I did not say that. Gob : Are you going to allow that, Buster? Are you going to allow you...
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Buster : Hey, I just came to tell you that I can't do that wall. Drill Instructor : There's no time for that. We're shipping out without you. Haven't you heard? [hands Buster military files] Buster : Weapons of Mass Destruction? Gob : Those bastards. Drill Instructor : I did not say that. Gob : Are you going to allow that, Buster? Are you going to allow your children, and your children's children, and any children that I might have out there to live in fear for the rest of their lives? [advances to the wall] Gob : Climb that wall, homo. Drill Instructor : Go get 'em. Narrator : [as Buster climbs the wall] Buster got the encouragement he needed, and just when it seemed there wouldn't be any surprises... [Gob punches Buster as he jumps to the other side] Narrator : ... it did. Gob : Now, when you do this without getting punched, you'll have more fun.
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Michael : Gob, I'm going to need you to sneak Mom out of rehab. Gob : Gee, I didn't think the woman I'd be checking out at Spring Break would be Mom. Buster : She's better than the whores you date. Gob : Don't call my escorts whores. Buster : Mom's still got it. Gob : I don't date whores. Lindsay Funke : Stop it, both of you. This objectification of women ha...
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Michael : Gob, I'm going to need you to sneak Mom out of rehab. Gob : Gee, I didn't think the woman I'd be checking out at Spring Break would be Mom. Buster : She's better than the whores you date. Gob : Don't call my escorts whores. Buster : Mom's still got it. Gob : I don't date whores. Lindsay Funke : Stop it, both of you. This objectification of women has got to stop. Michael : It's just Mom and whores.
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Gob : Ok, ok, ok. So should, should, should, should, should, shhhhshsh, should, should... Michael : Well, do it your way, I'm just here to have fun. Gob : Not too much fun, all right? I already gave my big sexual harassment speech today. Gob : [subtitle: earlier that day... ] [Gob talking to Bluth employees about sexual harassment] Gob : Please refrain fro...
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Gob : Ok, ok, ok. So should, should, should, should, should, shhhhshsh, should, should... Michael : Well, do it your way, I'm just here to have fun. Gob : Not too much fun, all right? I already gave my big sexual harassment speech today. Gob : [subtitle: earlier that day... ] [Gob talking to Bluth employees about sexual harassment] Gob : Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of inter-office [bleep] Gob : ing, or [bleep] Gob : ing, or finger [bleep] Gob : , or [bleep] Gob : sting, or [bleep] Gob : esting or [bleep] Gob : eing or even [bleep] Gob : . Even though so many people in this office are begging for it. And if anybody does anything with my sister Lindsay, I'll take off my pants, I'll [bleep] Gob : , and I'll personally [really long bleep] Gob : .
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George Sr. : Soak the puppet's mouth with ether, and have Franklin give Lucille a kiss to knock her out. Gob : [as Franklin] I ain't kissin' that ol' bitch. George Sr. : [starts to choke Franklin] That's my wife, you bastard. Gob : Dad, that's my wrist. [as George Sr. chokes Gob] Gob : Hey, that's his neck.
George Sr. : Soak the puppet's mouth with ether, and have Franklin give Lucille a kiss to knock her out. Gob : [as Franklin] I ain't kissin' that ol' bitch. George Sr. : [starts to choke Franklin] That's my wife, you bastard. Gob : Dad, that's my wrist. [as George Sr. chokes Gob] Gob : Hey, that's his neck.
Gob : Okay, everybody come out of your offices please. The party has now started. [turns on music] Gob : Let's go... Everybody dance now. [the workers stare at him] Gob : Everybody dance NOW. [the workers start listlessly dancing] Michael : Well, I think we're off to a great start.
Gob : Okay, everybody come out of your offices please. The party has now started. [turns on music] Gob : Let's go... Everybody dance now. [the workers stare at him] Gob : Everybody dance NOW. [the workers start listlessly dancing] Michael : Well, I think we're off to a great start.
Gob : Yeah, the guy in the $3,000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn't make that in four months. Come on.
Gob : Yeah, the guy in the $3,000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn't make that in four months. Come on.
[Buster reveals that he made George Michael get pot from Gob for him] Buster : It-it's for my girlfriend. She's sick. Gob : Why don't you just wait it out? She's gonna be gone soon. Buster : Oh, that's it. [starts hitting Gob] Buster : Why are YOU hitting yourself? Why are YOU hitting yourself? Why are YOU hitting yourself?
[Buster reveals that he made George Michael get pot from Gob for him] Buster : It-it's for my girlfriend. She's sick. Gob : Why don't you just wait it out? She's gonna be gone soon. Buster : Oh, that's it. [starts hitting Gob] Buster : Why are YOU hitting yourself? Why are YOU hitting yourself? Why are YOU hitting yourself?
Marta : [after Gob's magic trick scares some children] They're children. How could you do that? Gob : Oh, sure, first you dump all over it, now you want to know how it's done.
Marta : [after Gob's magic trick scares some children] They're children. How could you do that? Gob : Oh, sure, first you dump all over it, now you want to know how it's done.
Buster : [about Lucille] It's like she gets off on being witholding. Michael : Whoa. Buster. Gob : Look who's got something to say. Buster : [impersonating Lucille] I'm Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I feel good about myself. [everyone laughs] Gob : Look who's ragging on the old lady. Buster : Cause I'm an uptight [long bleep] Buster ...
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Buster : [about Lucille] It's like she gets off on being witholding. Michael : Whoa. Buster. Gob : Look who's got something to say. Buster : [impersonating Lucille] I'm Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I feel good about myself. [everyone laughs] Gob : Look who's ragging on the old lady. Buster : Cause I'm an uptight [long bleep] Buster : Buster [Long bleep] Buster : ... you old horny slut. Michael : [pause] Well, no one's going to top that.
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Michael : You want to be in charge? Gob : Yeah. Michael : You want to deal with what I deal with? A sister who takes your money and throws it away. A mother who you can't trust. A company whose founder may be on trial for treason. Is that what you want? Gob : What kind of vacation time does it offer?
Michael : You want to be in charge? Gob : Yeah. Michael : You want to deal with what I deal with? A sister who takes your money and throws it away. A mother who you can't trust. A company whose founder may be on trial for treason. Is that what you want? Gob : What kind of vacation time does it offer?
Wife of Gob : G. O. B. , I want out. I'm in love with your brother... Gob : What? [to Michael] Gob : You did it again, you son of a bitch. [Punches Michael] Wife of Gob : ...In-law. Tobias. Sorry. I should have finished that thought.
Wife of Gob : G. O. B. , I want out. I'm in love with your brother... Gob : What? [to Michael] Gob : You did it again, you son of a bitch. [Punches Michael] Wife of Gob : ...In-law. Tobias. Sorry. I should have finished that thought.
Michael : G. O. B., you've found a woman who believes in you. You should make a commitment to her because life is short. Listen to me. I would give anything to be able to have that again, you know? A family. Nothing else matters. Lucille : Michael? Michael : It's Mom. Hide. Gob : You brought up money earlier. I actually would like to borrow some. Michael : N...
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Michael : G. O. B., you've found a woman who believes in you. You should make a commitment to her because life is short. Listen to me. I would give anything to be able to have that again, you know? A family. Nothing else matters. Lucille : Michael? Michael : It's Mom. Hide. Gob : You brought up money earlier. I actually would like to borrow some. Michael : No. Lucille : Michael? Gob : He's in here, Mom. Michael : Come on.
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[Gob has gotten George Michael to break in and steal company records] George Sr. : You got my 14-year-old grandson do this? Gob : Under 18 walks out clean. George Sr. : Listen, um... there's a very strict "no touching policy" here. But, um... oh, what the hell, it's worth a week in the hot box. [Hits Gob] Prison guard : No touching. George Sr. : You stupid...
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[Gob has gotten George Michael to break in and steal company records] George Sr. : You got my 14-year-old grandson do this? Gob : Under 18 walks out clean. George Sr. : Listen, um... there's a very strict "no touching policy" here. But, um... oh, what the hell, it's worth a week in the hot box. [Hits Gob] Prison guard : No touching. George Sr. : You stupid ass.
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Gob : Brother? Hermano means brother? Well, sounds like Hermano is about to get his ass kicked.
Gob : Brother? Hermano means brother? Well, sounds like Hermano is about to get his ass kicked.
Gob : I did the right thing, Michael. If I didn't fire them, how could I teach a lesson to the others? Michael : There are no others. You fired everyone. Gob : Oh, that's great. The guy who's dirty dancing with his niece is telling the guy in the $3,600 suit... how to... run the business... [pause] Gob : Come on. Michael : Maybe we were better off with me b...
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Gob : I did the right thing, Michael. If I didn't fire them, how could I teach a lesson to the others? Michael : There are no others. You fired everyone. Gob : Oh, that's great. The guy who's dirty dancing with his niece is telling the guy in the $3,600 suit... how to... run the business... [pause] Gob : Come on. Michael : Maybe we were better off with me being businesslike and you being the good time useless party guy. Gob : It got us this far. And I must say I miss the laughter. Oh God, how they used to laugh with me. Michael : AT you. We have to figure out a way to hire everybody back. A meeting. Gob : A party. Michael : No, we just had a party. Gob : Yeah but I didn't get to have any fun.
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Michael : So, how'd you make the yacht disappear? Gob : Michael, a magician never reveals - [gets excited] Gob : - I sunk it. At least I think I sunk it. I mean, I blew it up and I don't see it anywhere.
Michael : So, how'd you make the yacht disappear? Gob : Michael, a magician never reveals - [gets excited] Gob : - I sunk it. At least I think I sunk it. I mean, I blew it up and I don't see it anywhere.
Gob : I lost Earl Milford. Michael : What? Gob : I didn't know it was him. Although he was exceptionally quiet in there. You can always tell a Milford man.
Gob : I lost Earl Milford. Michael : What? Gob : I didn't know it was him. Although he was exceptionally quiet in there. You can always tell a Milford man.
Buster : Oh my god... Oh my god... I killed Michael... Gob : But on the plus side, you got punched in the face.
Buster : Oh my god... Oh my god... I killed Michael... Gob : But on the plus side, you got punched in the face.
Gob : Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night. Narrator : But he really didn't Gob : Yes, I did.
Gob : Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night. Narrator : But he really didn't Gob : Yes, I did.
Michael : What's the matter with you? Didn't you bag some woman you're never going to see again? Gob : Well, I broke a couple of my own rules. She knows I'm Gob Bluth, and... we got married, and...
Michael : What's the matter with you? Didn't you bag some woman you're never going to see again? Gob : Well, I broke a couple of my own rules. She knows I'm Gob Bluth, and... we got married, and...
[Gob has slept with a teacher he thought Michael liked] Michael : Gob, Ms. Whitehead was the civics teacher. We both had her. Gob : Yes we did, and now we're even.
[Gob has slept with a teacher he thought Michael liked] Michael : Gob, Ms. Whitehead was the civics teacher. We both had her. Gob : Yes we did, and now we're even.
Gob : I'm a failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper.
Gob : I'm a failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper.
Lucille Bluth : I'm going to Annyong's soccer awards ceremony, and... Annyong : Annyong. [everyone glares at Annyong] Lucille Bluth : ...and I don't need the other soccer moms knowing how old my first batch of kids are. Gob : Yeah, I think that they're gonna know that Annyong's not... Annyong : Annyong. Gob : [screaming] ... would somebody *please* tell th...
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Lucille Bluth : I'm going to Annyong's soccer awards ceremony, and... Annyong : Annyong. [everyone glares at Annyong] Lucille Bluth : ...and I don't need the other soccer moms knowing how old my first batch of kids are. Gob : Yeah, I think that they're gonna know that Annyong's not... Annyong : Annyong. Gob : [screaming] ... would somebody *please* tell this insufferable child to... GOD.
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[as cops surround the docks and start shooting at drug dealers while fake stripper cops cower nearby] Drug Dealer : You set us up. Gob : No. These are the strippers. Look how hot they are.
[as cops surround the docks and start shooting at drug dealers while fake stripper cops cower nearby] Drug Dealer : You set us up. Gob : No. These are the strippers. Look how hot they are.
[Gob is leaving his and Marta's house] Marta : Te Quiero. Gob : English, please. Marta : I love you. Gob : Great, now I'm late.
[Gob is leaving his and Marta's house] Marta : Te Quiero. Gob : English, please. Marta : I love you. Gob : Great, now I'm late.
Lucille Bluth : Did that Mexican girlfriend of yours kick you out? Gob : She's not "*that* Mexican," Mom, she's "*my* Mexican." And she's Colombian or something.
Lucille Bluth : Did that Mexican girlfriend of yours kick you out? Gob : She's not "*that* Mexican," Mom, she's "*my* Mexican." And she's Colombian or something.
Tobias Fünke : Good news, everyone. I bought the Queen Mary. Gob : Really? I was just thinking of getting a yacht. Tobias Fünke : Well, I was dancing with the owner and he was looking to sell... Also, he really, really did look like a woman... But can you believe it? The only reason he's selling it is because, supposedly, it's in a bad neighborhood? Lindsay ...
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Tobias Fünke : Good news, everyone. I bought the Queen Mary. Gob : Really? I was just thinking of getting a yacht. Tobias Fünke : Well, I was dancing with the owner and he was looking to sell... Also, he really, really did look like a woman... But can you believe it? The only reason he's selling it is because, supposedly, it's in a bad neighborhood? Lindsay Funke : You idiot. I was going to use the stock money to get us into the country club. Michael Bluth : What? Lindsay Funke : ...It's in such a nice neighborhood. Michael Bluth : I don't believe this. Didn't any of you read that memo? Narrator : None of them had read past the word "unfrozen."
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Narrator : Gob had just blown up a car. Gob : [with Lucille 2] Next thing I know, I'm running for my life. And all I could think was if something were to ever happen to me, how sad I'd be, you know? Lucille Austero : What you did to me at lunch today... You were ashamed to be with me. Gob : No. I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you. Lucil...
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Narrator : Gob had just blown up a car. Gob : [with Lucille 2] Next thing I know, I'm running for my life. And all I could think was if something were to ever happen to me, how sad I'd be, you know? Lucille Austero : What you did to me at lunch today... You were ashamed to be with me. Gob : No. I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you. Lucille Austero : I'm sorry, but you have no courage. Gob : How can you say that? Shh. Thought I heard my mom. [whispers] Gob : How can you say that?
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Lindsay Funke : [to Michael] GOB doesnt do anything for the family. Gob : Hey, I'm fucking Lucille 2. Lindsay Funke : Or I could do something like that.
Lindsay Funke : [to Michael] GOB doesnt do anything for the family. Gob : Hey, I'm fucking Lucille 2. Lindsay Funke : Or I could do something like that.
[repeated line] Gob : Michael!
[repeated line] Gob : Michael!
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : [turning a twenty into... ] Monopoly. You don't have it, do you? George Michael : Yeah, actually. George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : Well, that's good, cuz this one is missing a lot of pieces. [drives off on his Segway] George Michael : Uh, Uncle GOB, the twenty? George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : A magician never reveals his secrets. George Mic...
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George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : [turning a twenty into... ] Monopoly. You don't have it, do you? George Michael : Yeah, actually. George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : Well, that's good, cuz this one is missing a lot of pieces. [drives off on his Segway] George Michael : Uh, Uncle GOB, the twenty? George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : A magician never reveals his secrets. George Michael : I don't need the secret, I need... [GOB is gone] George Michael : Wow, that's so much like stealing.
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Gob : [arms crossed] Then there's me. The joker. The goofball. The magician. [quickly makes a magician's gesture with his hands] Michael : I thought you were gonna do a little fireball there. Gob : I was. It didn't go off.
Gob : [arms crossed] Then there's me. The joker. The goofball. The magician. [quickly makes a magician's gesture with his hands] Michael : I thought you were gonna do a little fireball there. Gob : I was. It didn't go off.
Michael : The only thing I found in the refrigerator was a dead dove in a bag. Gob : You didnt eat that dove, did you? I only have 6 days to return it.
Michael : The only thing I found in the refrigerator was a dead dove in a bag. Gob : You didnt eat that dove, did you? I only have 6 days to return it.
[repeated line] Gob : Come on!
[repeated line] Gob : Come on!
Lucille : What's a Forget-Me-Now? Gob : They're pills that create a sort of temporary forgettingness. So if somebody finds out how you do a trick, you just give 'em one of these, and they forget the whole thing. It's a mainstay of the magician's toolkit, like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether. Tobias Fünke : Gob, this is Flunitrazepam. It's a roof...
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Lucille : What's a Forget-Me-Now? Gob : They're pills that create a sort of temporary forgettingness. So if somebody finds out how you do a trick, you just give 'em one of these, and they forget the whole thing. It's a mainstay of the magician's toolkit, like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether. Tobias Fünke : Gob, this is Flunitrazepam. It's a roofie. Lucille : Those are illegal. Gob : Shut up, Mom. Don't make me give you another one of these.
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Gob : [while giving a lecture on office sexual harassment policies] Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any inter-office [bleep] Gob : and [bleep] Gob : and finger [bleep] Gob : and [long bleep] Gob : or even [bleep] Gob : . Even though so many of us are *begging* for it. Oh, and if anyone lays a finger on my sister Lindsay, I'll take off my ...
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Gob : [while giving a lecture on office sexual harassment policies] Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any inter-office [bleep] Gob : and [bleep] Gob : and finger [bleep] Gob : and [long bleep] Gob : or even [bleep] Gob : . Even though so many of us are *begging* for it. Oh, and if anyone lays a finger on my sister Lindsay, I'll take off my pants, I'll show you my [bleep] Gob : and I'll personally [long bleep] Gob : .
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Gob : My gut is telling me no... but my gut is also very hungry.
Gob : My gut is telling me no... but my gut is also very hungry.
Gob : [Gob's wife has served him divorce papers] And now she's stomping on my heart. Michael Bluth : What's her first name? Quickly. Gob : [flustered] Crindee. Michael Bluth : Name's not Crindee, Gob. Gob : [Reads papers] Ah, Saul Zetzmann. Nope. That's her lawyer. Well, she's GOT a name. And I'm gonna find out what it is. And I'm gonna make a pun on it. ...
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Gob : [Gob's wife has served him divorce papers] And now she's stomping on my heart. Michael Bluth : What's her first name? Quickly. Gob : [flustered] Crindee. Michael Bluth : Name's not Crindee, Gob. Gob : [Reads papers] Ah, Saul Zetzmann. Nope. That's her lawyer. Well, she's GOT a name. And I'm gonna find out what it is. And I'm gonna make a pun on it. And that's what I'll call her. Bad example: if her name's Amy, I'll call her "Blame-y." Michael Bluth : That's a strong defense.
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Lucille Austero : Today at lunch, you were ashamed to be with me. Gob : No. I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you.
Lucille Austero : Today at lunch, you were ashamed to be with me. Gob : No. I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you.
Gob : Is that George Michael's girlfriend? What is she funny or something?
Gob : Is that George Michael's girlfriend? What is she funny or something?
Gob : I'm filling Dad's shoes, now, Michael. Literally. Well, the shoes didn't fit but at least I got into Dad's pants. [everyone looks at GOB] Gob : And I also had to have the crotch taken up a little.
Gob : I'm filling Dad's shoes, now, Michael. Literally. Well, the shoes didn't fit but at least I got into Dad's pants. [everyone looks at GOB] Gob : And I also had to have the crotch taken up a little.
Narrator : Gob was recently hired by the Bluth Company's rival, Sitwell Enterprises. And although he started off well... Gob : 52% of the country is single. That's a market that's been dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I call it "Single City." Narrator : ...his ideas failed to evolve. Gob : It's, like, "Hey, you want to go down ...
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Narrator : Gob was recently hired by the Bluth Company's rival, Sitwell Enterprises. And although he started off well... Gob : 52% of the country is single. That's a market that's been dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I call it "Single City." Narrator : ...his ideas failed to evolve. Gob : It's, like, "Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool?" "Yeah, I don't have a husband." I call it "Swing City." Stan Sitwell : Let's get into some new areas, if you don't mind. Narrator : But Gob continued to fine-tune his first one. Gob : How do we filter out the teases? We don't let them in. Gob : This goes for the guys, too. Because sometimes the guys are tapped out. But check your lease, man. Because you're living in [bleep] Gob : City. Stan Sitwell : You're fired.
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Michael : There's more to life than strippers and booze and buckets of blood. Why do you guys have buckets of blood? Gob : It's not real blood. It's corn syrup and red dye... juice. Buster : There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook.
Michael : There's more to life than strippers and booze and buckets of blood. Why do you guys have buckets of blood? Gob : It's not real blood. It's corn syrup and red dye... juice. Buster : There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook.
White Power Bill : White Power! [as he stabs Gob in the kidney] Gob : But I'm white!
White Power Bill : White Power! [as he stabs Gob in the kidney] Gob : But I'm white!
Gob : You drive a hard bargain, but I'm the President of the Bluth company, and I decline. [turns to Sitwell] Gob : You look surprised. Stan Sitwell : [adjusts his eyebrows] Must've put 'em on wrong.
Gob : You drive a hard bargain, but I'm the President of the Bluth company, and I decline. [turns to Sitwell] Gob : You look surprised. Stan Sitwell : [adjusts his eyebrows] Must've put 'em on wrong.
[after watching Rita walk across the pool] Michael : Gob, was that your trick? Gob : No, Michael, that's not my trick. Narrator : On the next Arrested Development: Gob : [shouts] It's my illusion.
[after watching Rita walk across the pool] Michael : Gob, was that your trick? Gob : No, Michael, that's not my trick. Narrator : On the next Arrested Development: Gob : [shouts] It's my illusion.
Gob : Michael, I'm your big brother. I'll never be impressed with you.
Gob : Michael, I'm your big brother. I'll never be impressed with you.
Narrator : In an effort to "hip" up his act, Gob had briefly introduced a puppet. [Gob is acting as a black puppet named Franklin in front of the family] Gob : [as Franklin] Can I tell you something, my man? Gob : [as himself] Sure, Franklin. Gob : [as Franklin] You are one cool [bleep] Gob : . Speaking of mothers, let me give that oatmeal some brown su...
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Narrator : In an effort to "hip" up his act, Gob had briefly introduced a puppet. [Gob is acting as a black puppet named Franklin in front of the family] Gob : [as Franklin] Can I tell you something, my man? Gob : [as himself] Sure, Franklin. Gob : [as Franklin] You are one cool [bleep] Gob : . Speaking of mothers, let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar. [the puppet 'kisses' Lucille] George Sr. : Get off my wife, you bastard. [strangles Franklin] Gob : [as Franklin] What's the matter with you? Gob : [in the present] Franklin said some things Whitey wasn't ready to hear. Michael : Gob, weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act? Gob : He also said some things that African-American-y wasn't ready to hear either.
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Gob : If I didn't have a live dove in my pants right now, I'd leap across the table and... [he unzips his pants] Gob : Ah, what the hell... Michael : I think that's just as good of a time as any to end the meeting.
Gob : If I didn't have a live dove in my pants right now, I'd leap across the table and... [he unzips his pants] Gob : Ah, what the hell... Michael : I think that's just as good of a time as any to end the meeting.
Gob : I'm dating this Christian girl right now. She wants me to be honest and reconnect with my son. And I'm trying to get her to renounce God and fuck me, but I just want to prove to her that I'm worth it.
Gob : I'm dating this Christian girl right now. She wants me to be honest and reconnect with my son. And I'm trying to get her to renounce God and fuck me, but I just want to prove to her that I'm worth it.
Michael : You know, GOB, you might want to start acting like the President. You're beginning to alienate some of the employees. Gob : Yeah, like the CEO has to worry about alienating the employees. Narrator : In fact, GOB *had* started to alienate some of the employees. Gob : [in the break room] The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all o...
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Michael : You know, GOB, you might want to start acting like the President. You're beginning to alienate some of the employees. Gob : Yeah, like the CEO has to worry about alienating the employees. Narrator : In fact, GOB *had* started to alienate some of the employees. Gob : [in the break room] The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. Come on. [in the elevator] Gob : Yeah, the guy wearing the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn't make that in four months. Come on. [in the bathroom] Gob : Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. Come on.
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Gob : Tell you what we're gonna do: "Rock Paper Scissors" for it. Michael : No, no I'm not... Gob : One, two, three. Paper covers rock. Michael : It is a rock, though. Should beat everything. Gob : There's not a lot of logic to it. It's kind of like on a boat with "Women and children first." I mean, why should they...
Gob : Tell you what we're gonna do: "Rock Paper Scissors" for it. Michael : No, no I'm not... Gob : One, two, three. Paper covers rock. Michael : It is a rock, though. Should beat everything. Gob : There's not a lot of logic to it. It's kind of like on a boat with "Women and children first." I mean, why should they...
Steve Holt : I've made a huge mistake. Gob : I know the feeling. I had you. I'm your father, Steve Holt. I can't hide from it any more. Steve Holt : I won't forget this... Dad. Gob : [swallows roofie] I will. I will.
Steve Holt : I've made a huge mistake. Gob : I know the feeling. I had you. I'm your father, Steve Holt. I can't hide from it any more. Steve Holt : I won't forget this... Dad. Gob : [swallows roofie] I will. I will.
Lindsay Funke : Oh! Because you're too afraid to ask Sally Sitwell to go with you. Michael Bluth : That's not true. That's not true at all. Lindsay Funke : [Begins her chicken dance] Chaw-chee-chaw-chee! Michael Bluth : What is that? Is that a chicken? George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : What's this? Lindsay Funke : Michael is scared to ask out Sally. Michael Bluth ...
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Lindsay Funke : Oh! Because you're too afraid to ask Sally Sitwell to go with you. Michael Bluth : That's not true. That's not true at all. Lindsay Funke : [Begins her chicken dance] Chaw-chee-chaw-chee! Michael Bluth : What is that? Is that a chicken? George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : What's this? Lindsay Funke : Michael is scared to ask out Sally. Michael Bluth : No, I'm not. George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : This is priceless. [Starts chicken dancing with Lindsay] George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : Caw-ca-caw-ca-ca-caw! Michael Bluth : Oh, come on. Those aren't even birds!
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Gob : Hey, guy. They tell me you're the actor who plays Marta's brother, Tio. Spanish actor : Como? Gob : Oh, you're gonna be in a coma, all right.
Gob : Hey, guy. They tell me you're the actor who plays Marta's brother, Tio. Spanish actor : Como? Gob : Oh, you're gonna be in a coma, all right.
Gob : [talking about his new boat] The Seaward. Michael : You're not getting a boat. Gob : [doing rock, paper, scissors] One, two, three. Michael : You're not gonna do it... [does rock] Michael : . Gob : Paper covers rock. Michael : Fine, but rock sinks boat. Lucille : [entering room] Michael. Michael : Just a minute mom. [to GOB] Michael : . Get rid of...
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Gob : [talking about his new boat] The Seaward. Michael : You're not getting a boat. Gob : [doing rock, paper, scissors] One, two, three. Michael : You're not gonna do it... [does rock] Michael : . Gob : Paper covers rock. Michael : Fine, but rock sinks boat. Lucille : [entering room] Michael. Michael : Just a minute mom. [to GOB] Michael : . Get rid of the Seaward. Lucille : I'll leave when I'm good and ready.
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[Michael has found his brother, Gob, hidden in his office] Michael : One of those British guys came up to me and told me to back off. I can't believe it, but Dad may have been telling the truth. This may be dangerous. Gob : So you came back here to hide like a child. Michael : What are you doing locked in my office, exactly? Gob : Hiding from a child. Big d...
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[Michael has found his brother, Gob, hidden in his office] Michael : One of those British guys came up to me and told me to back off. I can't believe it, but Dad may have been telling the truth. This may be dangerous. Gob : So you came back here to hide like a child. Michael : What are you doing locked in my office, exactly? Gob : Hiding from a child. Big difference. Michael : Gob, Steve Holt is your son. He probably just feels a connection. Gob : He doesn't know what he feels. I'm tired of being told - my God. What is this feeling? [Schmaltzy music begins to play] Michael : You know, the feeling that you're feeling is just what many of us call... a "feeling". Gob : It's not like envy, or even hungry. Michael : Could it be love? Gob : I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite - it's like my heart is getting hard. [the music reaches its crescendo] Gob : Maybe I am ready to be a father.
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Michael : I really think the reason you and I always fight is that, since we were little, Dad's always played us off each other. Gob : Dad always said that was your fault.
Michael : I really think the reason you and I always fight is that, since we were little, Dad's always played us off each other. Gob : Dad always said that was your fault.
Gob : Steve Holt's not my son. George Michael Bluth : Steve Holt? What, the moron jock? Gob : That's my son, you pothead.
Gob : Steve Holt's not my son. George Michael Bluth : Steve Holt? What, the moron jock? Gob : That's my son, you pothead.
[repeated line] Gob : I've made a huge mistake.
[repeated line] Gob : I've made a huge mistake.
Gob Bluth
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