Kathryn Greenwood : [Clueless teenage girl on the phone to her friends]  So like I got this job doing like the news or something, and like, what is that anyway? Like politics or wars or something? I just wanna chill, and y'know sometimes I just wish I was a goat y'know? How easy would life be then y'know, you wouldn't even have to read things or understand things or... hey, why's everybody staring at me?

Kathryn Greenwood : My turn ons are: humanity, integrity, and TV.

Kathryn Greenwood : There's a bright light coming from within. Ryan Stiles : It's a cop!

Drew Carey : Things you can see from outer space besides the Great Wall of China. Kathryn Greenwood : Look, those are Ryan's shoes.

Drew Carey : Gifts the three wise men considered Wayne Brady : Mary, I give to you, a Playstation 2 for the child. Kathryn Greenwood : It's a Chia Pet! Ryan Stiles : [to Colin]  You can't give them a pork roast! Colin Mochrie : Water Skis. [Shrugs]  Wayne Brady : With these modivational tapes by Jack Robbins, your child will soar... Ryan Stiles : They call it... a thong.

[after Colin's quirk of trying to figure out who's really a man and who's really a woman]  Drew Carey : [pulls out a can of Oust for Colin]  Would you like some disinfectant for your hands? Wayne Brady : [acting as a little boy, to Kathy]  Mommy, will you show me tapes of when you used to do Whose Line? Kathryn Greenwood : [giggles and makes gestures of using a VCR remote]  ... well darling... Drew Carey : That was amazing, Colin Mochrie! [audience cheers and applause]  Ryan Stiles : [calling off-stage]  Keith, I'm going to need two minutes. [everyone laughs]  Ryan Stiles : And I *mean* "two minutes"! Drew Carey : That was unbelievable! Wayne Brady : Let's hear it for Colin Mochrie! [starts a huge round of applause, then turns to Drew]  Wayne Brady : He's *so* gentle too! Colin Mochrie : [embarrassed]  Yeah. Drew Carey : So 1000 points to everybody *but* Colin, because I was sitting the entire time... waiting for you to come over... Colin Mochrie : ...oh, there's no doubt about you, my friend! Drew Carey : [chuckles]  Yep, I'm *all* man!

Drew Carey : [Foreign Film Dub in Unkranian, starts hysterically laughing, then speaks mock Ukrainian]  Ryan Stiles : Hahahahahahaha! Oh, I was just laughing at an old joke I learned. Two perrogies walk into a bar. Kathryn Greenwood : [Speaks mock Ukrainian]  Colin Mochrie : Go on. Drew Carey : [Speaks mock Ukrainian, then stops and, in plain english]  Complimentary. Ryan Stiles : The nuts go over to the perrogies and say "Hey, you look great, have you lost weight?" and the perrogie says "What's with the nuts?" and the bartender says "They're complimentary".

Drew Carey : If songs were written about life's most embarrassing moments. Ryan Stiles : Where did all the toilet paper gooo? Kathryn Greenwood : I love you sooooo much- oops I farted! Colin Mochrie : Hey! That's me with the booger in my nose! Booger in my nose! Wayne Brady : We made love at 5:06. I was done by 5:07! Colin Mochrie : Hey I didn't mean to cook your dog! But hey, those things just happen! My was just standin' there, and his little toes they started tapping! So I cut his throat, let go kick a goat, and then I put him on the barbeque! [Ryan pulls him offstage, end of game]  Drew Carey : And I put him on the barbecue!

Drew Carey : Two thousand points to Kathy Greenwood for kissing Ryan. Kathryn Greenwood : Yeah! Colin Mochrie : I never get two thousand points for kissing him. Drew Carey : That's 'cause you like to kiss him. Ryan Stiles : It's got to be on the show! [Colin nods knowingly] 

Ryan Stiles : I wanna make a call, so I'll have to use a life line! I wanna call the mother of my baby, my sister Alicia. Are ya' there baby? Kathryn Greenwood : Yeah, I'm here, y'know I was just about to call you, my frilly underwear's missin' again! Ryan Stiles : Well, I ain't wearin' it! Kathryn Greenwood : Yeah, like hell y'ain't wearin' it! What d'ya want? Ryan Stiles : [in Southern accent]  Is it A, C, D, or D? Colin Mochrie : No, you stupid [imitates bleeping sound]  Colin Mochrie : , it's A, B, C, or D! Kathryn Greenwood : Well, I don't know which of them numbers it is, I'd say "C"! Ryan Stiles : Is that yer favorite number? Kathryn Greenwood : Yeah, baby, C's an all right number!