[Will has quit his job and now wants to be a writer; they are now at a party]  Will : Oh, Rosario, I - look, I'm doing some writing on social injustice, you know, the battle between the classes? Rosario : You want to interview me? Will : No, no, I just want to jot something down. Could you hold my glass? Rosario : [mad]  Sleep with your lights on, white devil. Your time is coming.

Jack : [singing]  You can ring my beh-eh-ell. You can ring my bell. Rosario : Ding Dong. Ding Dong.

Rosario : It's Mr. Stan. He's dead. [everyone is stunned]  Leo : [entering]  Hey, hey, I got off work early, picked up a couple of sixes. I found a 20 on the street - damn, it's good to be alive... What?

Rosario : [to Jack and Karen]  Oh look, it's "Dumb and Drunker".

Rosario : [to Karen]  Up yours, Count Drunkula.

Karen : She's getting too big for her boots. Rosario : Someone should punch her in the neck. Karen : Hey. that isn't very ladylike Rosario : With an open fist. Karen : That's my girl.

[talking to Jack]  Rosario : Hold on Francis Ford Fagola.

Karen : Where the hell are my slippers? Rosario : Have you looked up your ass, you drunken fool?

Rosario : [to Karen]  Why don't I just squeeze you like a sponge. There's probably enough alcohol in you to fill a hot-tub.

Karen : We should spend some time together. Rosario : I don't drink.

[Karen is waiting up for Rosario, who has been out cleaning another man's apartment]  Karen : Well, well, well. El Pollo has come home to roost. How's Beverly? Rosario : Miss Karen, I was just... Karen : Oh, don't insult me with your lies. I know where you were. Scrubbing floors for Beverly Leslie. I can smell his generic cleaning products all over you. Rosario : It's not what you think. Karen : Oh, really? Is that a new Members Only jacket you're wearing? Rosario : So what if it is? A lady likes nice things.

[after seeing Karen's mother]  Rosario : Santa Maria, it has a mother.

Karen : Where the hell have you been? Rosario : Riding a llama in Neverland. Where do you think? I was cleaning.